As long as you live in the past, you can never imagine the future -- Winter 1997

I had come home for Christmas vacation and had made the mistake of telling my dad that I was seeing a boy from school.  It was ridiculous the way he treated me.  He had stormed off outside to go have a cigarette -- one of his fall back habits when he was upset -- so I put a cloak on and grabbed his because he clearly did not have it and followed him outside.  "Daddy, here, you'll catch a cold," I said, handing him his cloak.  He took it from me and just hung it over the railing for the time being.  I resisted rolling my eyes at him and crossed my arms instead.  "I know you don't want me to grow up, but Daddy, I'm a big girl now.  I'm allowed to date boys.  And Nolan is great.  He treats me well... so what is the big deal?" I asked, wanting to get down to the point.

When Lyn came outside, I just set the cloak she handed to me on the railing.  It was chilly, yes, but I did not need it.  I was still fuming over the news of her dating a Greyback.  If she only knew... I sighed and shook my head, taking a drag of the cigarette.  I looked over at her; she thought I was upset because she was dating.  Of course that was part of it, but not the entire reasoning.  "Madelyn, I just don't trust him," I said, not wanting to get into everything.  Greyback was a name I thought I could have escaped.

This time I did roll my eyes at him.  That was hardly an answer.  "Dad, I'm trying to have a civilized conversation with you.  You're making it impossible if you dont' tell me the truth!" I said, exasperated.  Why was it so difficult to be honest with me?  "Seriously, Dad, what's the problem with Nolan?  You seemed to get a bigger issue with me dating him when I told you his name.  So what?  Did you know his family or something?  Remember, you shouldn't judge someone based on their family.  Look at you."  Oh yes, I was so going there if I had to.

I leaned against the railing while I looked at my daughter, all grown up.  "Yes, it does have to do with his family," I told her honestly.  "And I was a product of expectations... as a lot of children are.  So I do think it's fair to judge someone based on their family.  I nearly went off the deep end had I not found out certain information and changed my way of thinking."  I had not told Madelyn the entire story of what had happened in the past and why we were exiles in America rather than living in England with the rest of the family - who thought I was dead, mind you.

He made me want to rip my hair out.  "Oh, my God, Dad.  You are impossible," I said angrily, shaking my head at him.  "Nolan has done nothing to you or to me.  And he didn't act this way when he found out I was a Black."  Right after I said that, i wished I had not.  Dad's expression changed from frustrated to frightened to angry in a matter of seconds.  The fear only flickered, but I had seen it.  "What?" I asked.

I nearly dropped the cigarette that I was bringing to my lips when Madelyn said that.  Of course he had to know she was a Black; they were in school together.  I just figured that he might not have put the pieces together if Lyn never pointed it out.  But clearly she had.  If Fenrir Greyback showed up on our doorstep... I took a deep breath, trying to keep the anger visible and the fear hidden.  "Madelyn, what did he say when you said you were a Black?" I asked quietly, attemptig to keep my cool.

"Nothing," I replied honestly.  "That was sort of my point.  What?  If you didn't want people knowing my name was Madelyn Black you should have told me to go by Madelyn Williams or something to go off of your Reese Williams alias," I pointed out.  I could not believe it.  I felt like we were getting extremely off topic here.

I was slightly relieved by that.  "Do you know if he told his father about you?" I inquired.  I was not going to let my daughter become a target of Greyback's because of me.  This was not good.  I looked at her.  "And I didn't expect people from england to send their children to an American school," I snapped in response to that sarcastic tone of hers.

How on earth was I supposed to know the answer to that?  I sighed and shrugged.  "I have no clue, Dad," I aswered him honestly.  "Who is Greyback to you?  I'm tired of all these half truths.  I want to know."

There was no way that I was going to be able to tell her the truth on all of this.  "He's a monster," I told her.  "He's a werewolf... and he targets children."  Okay, that I could tell her.  I just did not want to tell her everything, though she was smart and I new she was figuring different things out.

I was stunned for a moment.  "But Dad, Nolan isn't like his father!  How can you prejudge him like this?  No one is judging me based on you," I pointed out.  Like I did not know what that mark on his arm was?  He tried to play it off like some other tattoo he had since he had a few.  "Dad, I know that was You-Know-Who's mark.  I'm not a complete idiot.  Give me some credit, okay?  I don't know what happened back in England, but I have a feeling it has to do with that Mark and that's why we can't go back and why you're running from that Bellatrix chick and now, apparently, Greyback."

Madelyn had been so young when Bella first found her and I in a park.  She did not remember that Bella was my cousin.  I shook my head.  "I'm not running from them," I said, even though it was partially true.  Now I was just hiding.  The running part had been over for a long time.  I stared at her, trying to plead with her not to do what I knew she was going to do anyways.  I was grateful, however, that she did not call me a monster.  I did not do much, but I had done enough while at Hogwarts and mixed up in that group before I faked my death.  "Lyn, do you know if Nolan is a werewolf?" I asked her quietly.  "If he is, then he's lying to you about it.  And if he's lying to you about that, what else is he hiding?"

I could not believe him.  he was beign ridiculous.  I shook my head.  "Whatever, Dad.  You're just too damn stubborn to think that children can be different from their father's apparently.  Shouldn't you, then, be worried about how I'm going to turn out?" I was really trying not to yell at him, but I was failing miserably at it.

Why did she have to be so much like her mother?  "Just go in the house, Lyn," I said to her.  I did not want to argue.  I did not want to say something to hurt her because I was angry.  "Please.  We can continue this discussion later."  I turned to look across the yard while lighting another cigarette.  My daughter made me want to smoke a pack a day sometimes.

He was just going to dismiss me?  I groaned in frustration and stormed into the house.  I knew Xander had to be asleep by now and knew to keep it quiet once I was inside.  I came across Mom.  "You need to talk to him before I kill him," I said to her, rolling my eyes as I hung up my cloak.  I could not believe how Dad was being right now.