What on earth? -- July 1997

I barely had time to realize that my sister was running towards me.  I balanced myself as she hit me full force with a hug.  I wrapped my arms around her, feeling like I was in a daze and not really there.  "Lenni... why aren't you with mum?" I asked her, my voice sounding hollow and not like me at all.  "The healers are updating her..."  At least they better be.  Or I was going to jump down their throats again.

We came as a favour to mum.." I explained. " She wanted to know where you were and if you were safe." I went on. As I looked back to George following up with us. " You know, because she wants you to be okay as well.." I explained. I was not myself but I wasn't going to not worry about my brother. " We needed to find you." I said with a nod. " We should go back to mum then. Oh sweetie send a patronus to everyone. They can meet us at the waiting room?"

I nodded.  "Dad's in recovery," I told her.  "the prognoses is guarded... meaning they're not one hundred percent on everything and don't want to give us false hope by saying he'll pull out of it.  But that doesn't mean he won't."  I was oddly calm telling Lenni this.  I kept a hand on her shoulder ready to pull her back to me if I needed to.  "And there's no reason to worry about me.  I'm perfectly fine."  Which was a lie... but whatever.

"Already on it, babe," I said, giving it the message to carry with it.  That would suffice.  I sent it off towards Fred and knew he'd get it and be relieved. I was... Dean looked... like a hollow shell of himself or something.  If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say he looked like a person probably would if they had received the Dementor's Kiss.

I stopped walking, this is what I wanted. Did I want to hear that. No....but like he said it doesn't mean he won't pull through it. Dad is tough. If anyone can it's him. I felt like I was frozen my eyes welling up with tears. I didn't remember how to walk or talk.

I pulled my sister close to me and held her.  This is what I was needed for; to comfort.  I held her close and said, "We have some time before they'll let us in to see him in recovery... probably twenty minutes or so.  I don't remember why they said that... they just wanted me out of there.  Apparently I wasn't supposed to be there and had overstayed my welcome."  In reality, after Dad had flatlined... and after I knew he would be stable for alittle bit... I just had to get out of there.  I wanted to be with him and everything, but I couldn't help but think that I was the reason he was there in the first place.  And jus looking at him I felt guilt and sadness and knew that if I needed to comfort Mum and Lenni, I needed to breath a little bit.

I just let my brother hug me as I still couldn't put thoughts together. He was our dad. He could get out of there easy. He is stubborn I know he is. I still couldn't make myself move. At all, I didn't know how I could wake myself up. " He has to be okay.." I said in a whisper.

I nodded, not sure of what to say.  I wasn't going to tell her that he flat-lined in surgery.  I didn't want to tell her how scared I was... that I begged him not to leave... that he almost did.  "He's strong, Lenni," I said to her.  That wasn't a lie, dad was really a strong person.  He was strong enough to come back... I just hoped he was strong enough to wake up.

I nodded at my brother, annoyingly enough he made sense. I held my brother in a hug. I was just glad he is okay. Well okay as expected to be. " should get back to mum now. "

I nodded. Elena was right...mum needed us. "sorry that I didn't come back right away....couldn't leave him alone in there," is said to my sister. I was careful to have her stay on my right side since my left hand was throbbing with every heartbeat.

I shook my head, " Don't worry about it." I said as I hugged him tightly. I noticed him wince slightly, " You know you should maybe get that looked at after we go to the waiting room..." I informed him. I know he didn't want to hear it but oh well. I guess it would be my job to worry now. Mum was broken and Dean was angry. I don't know what I am, I just hoped George could help me find out what.

"I'm fine," I assured her, even though with every beat I could feel it pulsate through my hand. "I'm more worried about you and Mum than myself right now..."  I really didn't want to admit that... but I knew how our family dynamics worked.  Everyone would be worried about everyone else.  Meaning that one person would end up forgetting about their own needs.  We had an odd system... but it seemed to work for the most part.

I sighed, there really is no point in arguing with him. He is a pain in the ass. " Okay...let's get back."