Snooping Around -- January 1972 (DONE)

I was getting sick and tired of one of my friends going MIA.  I knew that something was up.  I wasn't sure where Sirius or Peter were.  But I was going to find Remus and figure out what was going on.  If my calculations were correct -- which, let's face it... they might not be -- I figured we had a week or two before he had to disappear again.  I was thinking some things and the other two and I had some outrageous ideas of what was going on, but none of them were true.  At least I didn't think so.  I went to the library where I figured Remus would be.  And low and behold, there he was sitting down so I settled in next to him.  'Hey, mate," I said, checking out what he was working on.  An essay for Slughorn... ugh.

I looked up and smiled at my new friend. I had to catch up on some essays... my curse put me back a little bit this past month. And I only had a couple weeks to catch up before being set back again. I wasn't sure how I was going ot be able to do it. But at least Professor Dumbledore was understanding. He even checked in on me sometimes. It was nice. "Hey, James," I said. "What's up?" I asked him, hoping that he wouldn' twant me to check his essay, too.

I sighed and shrugged. "Oh, nothing," I said, wondering how to ask what I wanted. I mean... how would you ask a new friend what he was doing all the time? Especially when it was obvious it was a secret or he would already have told us.

I stopped writing and set my quill down and looked at James. "Go ahead, what do you want?" I prodded. I knew that he wanted something, I just was thinking it had something to do with something other homework -- he would've just come out and asked about an essay or other assignment. My heart was pounding. What was he going to ask? I mean... or maybe he was going to say that I wasn't working out as a friend because I was hardly around a lot. I was really worried and felt as though I would give away something that I was told no one needed to know. And I understood why... I had been treated differently ever since the incident.

I ran my hand through my hair. "Well, Remus, I had a question to ask you," I said nervously. "I understand that it would probably be really personal, so I guess if you don't want to answer, it's okay." I realized I was rambling and shut up, trying to figure out how to word what I wanted to know.

Okay, my friend was acting weird for even James. "I will answer as truthfully and openly as I am able to,"I said, slightly guarded. I wasn't sure what he wanted to know. If it was somethign about me only having my dad, I can answer the best I could. If it had something to do with my problem, I didn't think I'd be able tot ell him anything.

I thought that was kind of an odd response, but I guess we had just met in September. So we hadn't built that bond I suppose... but Sirius and I talked a lot. And we all just seemed to get along so well. "Alright," I said, feeling less confident than I sounded. "I was just wondering what you did when you disappeared... I mean, where do you go? What do you do? The guys and I can never find you," I explained. "We have some theories... mostly jokes, nonsense, but we were just curious."

Well, that was a little better than I expected. I could always get around the truth with odd questions like that. At least it wasn't a totally up front exact question. I laughed nervously nonetheless. "I just sort of go off on my own... nothing major," I said, trying to avoid more questions. I asked him, "You guys have theories? Do I even wnat to know?" I was hoping that him getting off on some tangent would keep him distracted. I didn't want to lie to my best freinds - my only friends - more than I had to.

I laughed and shook my head. "Our theories are ridiculous!" I said, still chuckling. "I think you'd be rather insulted -- even if they are jokes!"

"No, please," I said. "I would love to hear the theories." I mean, they couldn't be more ridiculous than what the truth was. I was a werewolf... and I wasn't sure if they would realize it was true. But my game face from this point on to the end of his theories would have to be good. BEcause what if they mentioned werewolf in there? I had to keep the carefree funny attitude as the rest, not the nervous panicky attitude that I was sure would happen.

I laughed and wondered where to begin with our theories. "Well, there's the logical ones like the fact that you're visiting a sick relative or something. But then there are the crazy outrageous ones like... you being a werewolf or something," I said, laughing, slapping my knee.

I tried to keep laughing with him. "Yeah, the latter seems outrageous," I agreed, saying that it seemed ridiculous even though it was so true.

I eyed my friend, noting that something changed in his nature. "So, what are you doing on those nights?" I questioned. I really wanted to know everything. What was he hiding from us? We would figure it out if he didn't tell us. But I felt like w should know... I mean, we were all friends.

Great... now he put me in a tough spot that was for sure. These guys were my first set of friends since the incident. So what now? Do I tell them the truth and let them run from me that way? Or do I lie to them and they find out I did and they run from me anyways for being a bad friend? I sighed and looked at james. I had already talked to my dad about all of this... and he just told me to do what felt right. He would be there no matter what I decided to do about telling my friends. James looked so concerned and curious at the same time, how could I lie to him? I looked around and made sure that we were the only ones in the library. I leaned close to him. "James... what if I told you that some of your so-called outrageous theories weren't that outrageous after all?" I questioned. My heart was pounding. I was so afraid of this moment... of telling my friend what I was.

I sat there staring at Remus. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "You mean....?" I asked slowly, unsure if he was just yanking my chain or being dead serious.