Always say goodbye with a smile for those you love. It may be the last time you'll ever see them -- December 1998

The Order was calling out for help -- the Battle was going to begin soon.  Everyone knew it was close to the end for You-Know-Who.  Katie and I sat playing with Ben and I had to bring it up.  I looked over at her.  "Katie, I've been thinking," I said to her softly.  We needed to discuss how we were going to handle it when it did happen.  Would be both fight?  Just one of us...?  I wanted to go and for her to stay here with Ben.  I did not want her to leave our son alone.

I looked up at him and away from our beautiful little boy.  My vision was slightly blurred.  I knew what he was going to say.  I smiled at him, reaching up and cupping his face in my hand.  "I know... and so have I," I said to him.  I knew that he would want ot fight.  I wanted to, as well, but someone had to stay for Ben... just in case something would happen... but I could not think of that.

I put a hand on Katie's knee while she moved some toys in front of Ben to keep him occupied.  "I can't not go," I said to her softly.  "And I know you want to help Harry as well... but Ben needs you."

I nodded, but looked away from Oliver.  I did not want him to leave.  I did not want him to go alone.  I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.  "Just know you have something to fight for," I said to him.  He would not leave me without my husband or Ben without a father.

I kissed Katie and squeezed her hand as tightly as she was squeezing mine.  "I know," I said to her.  "And I'll never stop fighting for you and Ben... it's why one of us has to go and join Harry in his fight.  To give Ben his best chance at a future without darkness and prejudice."

I understood what Oliver was saying.  "I understand, Ollie," I said quietly.  "I just... come home in one piece, okay?" I looked at him, trying to hide my tears.

I pulled Katie into my arms and held onto her tightly.  Time was of the essence and I knew I could not stay there with her forever if I wanted to go fight.  I kissed her on the forehead.  "I love you so much," I said to her.  I pulled away and looked at Katie.  I could tell there was something else with her.  She looked radiant.  I tried to give her a reassuring smile.  "I'll come home."

I held his hand for a moment.  "You better," I said to him, trying to give him strength.  "Because with me getting ill, you best be here to bring me soup."  We had been joking that I had been getting sick a little bit and queasy.  I figured it was the time of year and that I was just coming down with the flu; Oliver thought I should get looked at since we would not want Ben getting sick.

I attempted a chuckle and stayed holding he rhand, though it was obvious she was going to let go.  "I cannot wait to come back home to take care of you," I said to her.  I let her hand go and went toward the door.  I stopped and turned around, walking back towards Katie.  Giving her one last kiss, I said, "I love you."  I smiled the best reassuring smile I could muster for the moment.  Just for Katie.  She needed the strength that I could give her to let her know that I was going to return home to her and Benjamin.

"And I love you," I said to Oliver before he Disapparated.  I bit my lip to keep tears from falling.  I could not believe that he was leaving.  I had a feeling that I might not see him again.  I went to our son's bedroom and I checked on our sleeping boy.  He looked so much like his father.  It made me think of happier times when I told my husband when I was pregnant with Ben.  Funny, I had felt almost something like I felt then.

It dawned on me.  Could I be...?  I bit my lip again.  Did I want to take a test right then or wait for Oliver to come home?  What if he did not ever come back from the battle?  Would he still fight if he knew that he had another child on the way?  I knew the answer to that.  He would; this was a battle taht needed to be won if there was to be any future for Ben... or any other child we would have.

At the battle...


I was prepared to pay the price for trying to give my son the best world to grow up in.  I just hoped I would not have to.  I was at the Astronomy Tower along with Shacklebolt and other members of the order.  Things were starting to heat up and we were prepared to defend the castle -- and Harry -- with our lives.  That was when over the noise below us, I heard a voice say my name.  I turned and saw Katie coming towards me.  "Katie?!  What are you doing?" I questioned, pulling her close, giving her a kiss.  "You need to be home with Ben...'

I pulled away and smiled at Oliver.  "He's with Penny and Parker... asleep and snoring like his father," I said to him, squeezing Oliver's hands in mine.  "He isn't the one who needs me tonight.  You know I had to come."  The entire tower shook and that was when the forces that were fighting for Voldemort crossed the barrier and started to attack the school.