LIBRARY -- Fratenizing wiht the Enemy? -- December 1976

I was working on homework at the same table as Ember. Somehow we became friends. Let's just say I stood up to a group of Slytherins -- my own house -- from picking on her. I mean... she was two years younger than them... they could've just let her go. It was ridiculous. So we had hit it off and now we were studying together. Mainly, I woul dhelp her out if needed as she was a year younger than I was she couldn't really help me that muc.

"So I can't believe that it doesn't even seem like any boy notices me," I blurted out all of a sudden. I knew Tobi would understand my concerns. She was a girl and my friend afterall.

I chuckled quietly and put down my quill. "And by boys do you mean Sirus and Remus?" I asked, knowing exactly why they didn't notice her... at least not in that way. She was James' sister and they were his friends. Simple as that.

I smiled sheepishly. "Yeah... but it doesn't seem like any other boy likes me either. Am I repulsive?" This was a real concern for me. It had me thinking I might have to change my hair or something.

I coulnd't help but laugh. "Ember... you're not repulsive!" I assured, trying to stifle my laugh before she got mad at me and before we got kicked out. Once I succeeded I took a deep breath and continued. "Sirus and Remus won't touch you or look at you that way ever. They're too close with James. And James would probably kill them. I think you need to set your eyes on other boys with whom you have a chance."

I set down my quill angrily. "But why do boys have to be stupid that way?" Why couldn't they just let each other date whomever they pleased? But even after I asked myself that... I remembered that I don't like the idea that James and any of my friends would date each other.... so I guess it made sense. But I wasn't a player!

"Oh, honey, I think you know that answer," I said, starting to write a little bit more. After I finished the paragraph I looked up again. "Em, what about any other Gryffindor boy? I don't know any names... but there seems to be a few who look at you every now and then in that way...?"

I sighed. But I didn't like those boys. "They're dorky," I said plainly. It was true. I wanted cute boys... they were all pimply and gross.

I rolled my eyes. "Remus is sorta dorky... well, more nerdy than dorky," I informed her as I went back to work.

I shrugged. "But he's not just nerdy. He has a secretive air about him.... and he's really cute. But Sirius... he has that badboy air about him... and he's cuter than Remus... ugh. Why does James have to be friends with them?" I asked frustratedly.

"If it wasn't for James, they wouldn't know you exist... so there's a bright side?" I suggested meekly. I knew it woulnd't help... but there wasn't much I could do about it.

I sighed. That wasn't helping. "October.... ugh. This sucks. I wish I just liked someone else... then I woulnd't be having this dilemma. Then maybe other guys would like me too. They see me as James' sister... and no one wants to offend James -- at least not anyone in Gryffindor because James is sooooo coool," I said sarcastically. I closed my book. "I can't concentrate anymore, Tobi."

I rolled my eyes at her dramaticness. "When were you ever concentrating on homework?" I asked with a slight smile. I did need to get this homework done... but Ember needed me more. "How about we go guy-scoping? We might see new guys for you to fawn over."

I sighed. "I don't know... it probably won't work," I told her. I really liked those two guys... and Sirius randomly smiled at me. I know it's only because I'm James' sister and not for the reason I want it to be for, but it was better than nothing. And Remus actually helped me answer a homework question when he saw m estruggling -- I didn't even have to ask him to come over! He just... noticed!

"Well... Em, this isn't healthy. You shouldn't be obessessing over boys who won't fall for you," I said. "It's pointless. There's no use putting yourself out there. Besides, you're thirteen... they're fifteen-sixteen. They see you as a child or at least way younger than they are. I know, it's stupid, but it happens. And if they fall for you, it'll only be to use you -- which those two would never do," I i ranted. Yes, this had happened to me. I couldn't believe a seventh year wanted to date me... then he just wanted my body... let's just say he ended up in the hospital wing. I'm not that easy. I'm not easy at all. No guy would use me.