If there's one thing I hang onto, that gets me through the night -- Summer 1987

After getting word from Dad that something had happened to Nate, I had gone straight to St. Mungo's.  It did not take me long to find Cathie and Penny in a waiting area while I was sure Dad was in with my brother.  I had Lucy's hand in mine as Chloe had Will with her.  I wanted to scoop my five year old daughter up to be able to walk faster, but she insisted on walking on her own.  It did not seem as though Lucy realized what urgency was quite yet at her age.

Finally we reached them and Lucy went straight to Penny while I pulled Cathie aside.  "What happened?  Dad's note seemed frantic... something about history?" I asked her, taking a deep breath to calm myself.  It had only been a few hours since I had come down from the transformation; same with my son.  That was why he was with Chloe -- she could help him get used to it still... me, on the other hand, could go nonstop like this because I had plenty of practice.  Except that I needed to learn patience when it was this close.  I probably should have seen if Cathie was okay instead of drilling her for details of what was going on.

With that in mind, I squeezed her shoulder gently.  "Nate will be okay; he's a Lupin," I assured her.  We had to be fighters to deal wiht the curse that was practically put on our family.

I felt a burning all through my body.  Something was wrong... very, very wrong.  I could see yellow eyes, though mine were closed... I heard a shout -- a scream of pain, more like -- and realized it was coming from me before I had faded again.

When I opened my eyes, it was really early morning.  I saw Dad sitting in a chair, face in his hands, seemingly asleep.  My body still felt tingly and rather hot, but at least I was not on fire.  I looked around and realized I had to be at St. Mungo's.  My arm was in a sling with my shoulder bandaged up; that was where most of the pain was coming from.

I was scared.  What happened?  "Dad...?" I spoke quietly, but hoped it was loud enough to wake him.  I did not want to speak any louder because I did not trust my voice.

Remus had a bit of a wild look to his eyes even though he was completely sane and himself.  John told me numerous things about Remus while he calmed down from the transformation.  My husband was in the room with our son and I had been in the waiting room with Penny waiting for the kids to come in.  I gave Remus the best, strong smile I could.

"I know he's a Lupin," I said to him with a shaky voice.  "But that's why your dad thinks this happened... Remus, he was attacked last night.  Just like you."  The full realization dawned on Remus's face and I felt horrid for telling him what happened.  John would have been able to tell him in a different way, I was sure.  I was surprised when Remus just pulled me into a fierce hug when I thought for sure he would do something completely irrational.

I was sitting by Nate's bedside with my face in my hands.  I had thought I heard movement, but was unsure until my son's voice broke through the monotone sounds from everything that was hooked up to him.  I looked over and took hold of my son's hand that was not in the sling.  "Nate, I'm here," I assured him softly.  I knew to keep my voice as calm and normal as possible -- it would help with everything, just like it did with Remus.  "You're alright," I added, knowing that he had to be scared to death.  he was just a little boy -- five years old.  Just like Remus had been.

When Mum told me what happened, I felt anger rise within me, but I had to push it down.  Nate needed us to band together.  I pulled her into a hug because I knew she needed it.  I kissed the top of her head.  "It'll be okay," I said to her gently.  "Have you heard anything from Dad or the Healer about him?"

I reached out and found Dad's hand.  "I hurt... please... help," I moaned.

I shook my head at Remus.  "Not yet," I said to him sadly.  "I'm sure things will be okay... I'm just so worried."  I knew that Remus would understand why I was so worried about this entire thing.  "Your dad will be out to tell us anything when he finds it out."

His pleas broke my heart.  I reached over and took hold of his hand.  "Nate, shh... it won't last forever," I said to him, knowing this entire process all too well.  Once the werewolf venom went through his entire body, the pain would slowly start subsiding... for the time being.  Of course the wound would continue to hurt just like any other wound... but the feeling of being on fire and unable to even open his eyes would surpass.  

I knew that Cathie waited in the waiting room with Penny and probably Remus.  Finally, Nate's shaking stopped, his sweating was less and I continued to wipe his forehead with a cloth.  Healer Marie -- the same one that had helped us with Remus -- came in to check on Nate.  I looked up at her and said, "I think the beginning has run it's course."  I would never call it the hard part.  It was anything but the hard part.

"You should probably go talk to your family," she said gently, sitting down on the other side of the bed.  "I will stay in here with Nathaniel and you can go give your family an update."  

I was so grateful for Healer Marie.  "Thank you," I said to her.  "I just didn't want them to see him like that."  When she smiled and nodded in an understanding way, I left my son and found my family in the waiting room.

"He is doing okay," I said when Penny basically attacked me.

When Dad came out, Penny ran up to him.  Mum turned and I kept my hands on her shoulders.  I basically felt her melt when Dad said that Nate was okay.  Dad and I kept eye contact because I knew the pain that he was going through.  He was only five; he was just a small child who did not deserve this.  Dad already paid the price to Greyback -- me.  He should not have to keep paying for a mistake that was made so many years ago.

I squeezed Mum's shoulders and said, "That's excellent news."  My voice was light to help keep Mum calm; Dad and I knew, however, how quickly things could change.  They had almost lost me almost twenty-four hours after I was bitten when things seemed to be okay.

I started to open my eyes slightly.  "Dad...?" I muttered, my word shaking as i spoke.  I could not manage to get anything else out.

I was so relieved, but I could tell there was more -- Remus's grip on my shoulders seemed to be too tight for excellent news.  I pushed it from my mind, however, because I thought that perhaps it was just bringing up bad memories.  "Can I go in and see him yet?" I questioned.  John did nto want me to see the worst of it and had me wait out here with Penny for that reason... and the fact that Penny did nto need to see her brother at hte worst, either.

I ran up to Dad when he came out; I was so worried about my little brother.  Remus was doing a good job keeping me and Mum calm, though.  I was a bit confused as to what happened, but we knew that things were not good and Nate was going to be a werewolf now.  Dad picked me up and I smiled.  "Yeah, I want to see Nate," I said to Dad.  I wanted him to know that we were all there for him.

I looked at Penny and shook my head.  "Not yet," I said to them.  "We want to double check to make sure things are all alright before letting everyone see him."  I did not want him to do what Remus did while his mother and sister were in there.

I took a deep breath.  "You should grab some coffee; I can take care of this lot while you take care of him," I said to my dad, knowing that he would not even begin to get any rest until the first twenty-four hours passed at least.