If I survive tonight, I wouldn't change a thing -- June 1998

How dare my niece raise her voice at me!  I raised my wand, but the slender fingers of the Dark Lord stopped me.  I sneered at them.  "Well, we shall see about that," I warned.  I would make sure that we changed them enough that they would not be able to fight the darkness.

"Juniper goes first," I said.  I wanted to hurt my son more than my daughter for once in my life.

Pansy Parkinson Malfoy wrote:I soon had some food made up for us, though I was not entirely sure whether or not any of us would be able to eat anything.  "Linc?  I've got some grub," I said simply, using the words my father would have said if he had been cooking.

I started slightly and looked around at Pansy.  "Grub?" I said, raising my eyebrows and getting a little smile on my face.

I put a hand on my sister's arm.  I did not want her to go first.  It put too much pressure on her.

I forced myself not to flinch when Aunt Bellatrix raised her wand and when the Dark Lord suddenly appeared behind her, saving me from her wrath. Whether or not he actually saved me or just postponed my torture, I couldn't be sure quite yet. I took a shaky breath, and felt my eyes widen when Father said I would be going first. I knew exactly why they were doing this, just like they hurt Draco to get to me, they would make me go first to hurt him. I blinked my eyes back to a normal size before I looked over at my brother when he put a hand on my arm. I forced a half smile at him. "It'll be okay Draco. It will just burn for a moment." I was happy that my voice didn't betray my fear. I took a deep breath and a step forward, my head held high, just like Father taught us. "You can force us to take the mark, but it won't make us become you." I reminded, my voice as deadly calm as I could manage. I braced myself, just incase they decided to punish me for talking back. I wouldn't put anything past them today.

I chuckled at Lincoln's face.  "Look... just don't ask," I said to him simply.  "I am able to cook,t hough, so I promise you that it won't poison you."

I was not at all sure if she was, but Draco never seemed to complain.  How could we be doing something so normal when Draco and Juniper were going through whatever it was that was happening?  I ate with Pansy.  "I don't like this," I said suddenly.  "I mean, with those two -- not your food, that's actually really good."

My mouth went dry and I found I could not find my voice.  I wanted to argue, to not have Juniper go first, to say somethign to my sister, but I could not.  And that was what Father wanted.  I instinctively stepped forward, to protect Juniper, when one of the other Death Eaters grabbed my shoulder and prevented me from moving.  I could see the pleasure in my father's eyes at the pain this was causing me to see my sister go through this first.  It sickened me.

I smiled darkly.  "What you don't realize is that the Mark is almost like a poison to someone like you," I said to her softly.  "It will haunt you and eat away at your will.  Eventually, one day, you will make a move - a choice - something that will make you realize that you are truly one of us."  I moved to the side so the Dark Lord could give my niece the mark.

I was about to hold out my left forearm, to get this over with, when I heard something behind me. I turned and saw one of the Death Eaters restraining my brother. "Draco!" I cried, before I could stop myself. I had no problem with being first, it was better this way actually. I was hoping after I took the mark, I could convince Father that Draco didn't need to take it as well. He wanted to hurt him more them me and I knew if I was the only one with the Mark, it would hurt him more than most anything, because it would be the same with me. I hated even thinking about it, of hurting my brother, but I would also hated to see him sell his soul to keep everyone safe. I just had to decide which I hated more. I turned to Father, saw the pleasure Draco's pain was causing him. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly to calm myself down. It wouldn't do well for me to take drastic measures right now.

I turned back to Aunt Bellatrix when she spoke. I narrowed my eyes at her. "We aren't weak." I said as calmly and darkly as I could manage. It was all I could say before the Dark Lord was infront of me. I took a deep calming breath, preparing myself for what was about to happen.

I nodded, just sort of picking at my food.  "I know," I said to him.  "It will always be like this, you know."  I sighed, setting my fork down.  "There will always be secrets... disapearing acts... lies... darkness.  I've always liked Draco -- probably even loved him long before I cared to admit -- but one thing I never really realized until we got close this past year was what seemed to always follow him and Juniper was darkness and lies.  Something I can overlook - it kind of comes with the territory of being a Slytherin.  And espeically now with me being pregnant."  I looked up at Lincoln.  "You don't have to do any of this.  So why do you do it?"

I looked over at Pansy.  "Because I love her," I said so quietly I was not sure if Pansy had even heard me.  I had never admitted that aloud to anyone or even myself until just now.  But how else could I convince Pansy of me being here?

I jerked my shoulder out of the grasp of the other Deaht Eater and I just stood there, knoing that I could not do a thing.  I clenched my jaw, my emotions threatenign to overpower me.  I could not let that happen.  I kept my eyes level with the Dark Lord's before he turned his red gaze onto my sister.  they were enjoying this all too much.  Something that sickened me greatly.

And so it happened.  The Dark Lord was making Juniper one of us.  I smiled darkly as I saw the Mark appearing on her arm.

Tears stung my eyes and I forced myself not to wince in pain when the mark was burnt into my skin. I made sure my tears did not fall as well, I had to be strong for myself, and Draco and everyone we were protecting. I had to be ready to tell them I was the only one they were turning today as soon as they were done with me. I knew Draco wouldn't take it lightly, but he was going to be a father. His kids didn't need to have a Death Eater as a Father. I was the one who could sacrifice whatever was needed to protect the ones she loved, including my soul. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, I was a Darth Eater. I felt light headed and had noticed I started shaking. I wasn't sure I could stand much longer on my own, but that was all the more reason to leave before Draco had to take the mark as well. I turned towards my twin and forced a half smile at him. "I'm okay." I assured him as I walked towards my brother. I took a few deep breaths before I could say what I wanted. "You have me now," I began, still looking at Draco. My voice was weaker then I would've liked it to be, but I forced myself to continue. I couldn't look at my brother as I spoke so I turned back to him, Father, and Aunt Bellatrix. I made sure I was standing in front of Draco so anything they did would hit me, not him. "You don't need both of us. Draco doesn't have to take the Mark." I told them, my voice far less authoritative then I intended. I wasn't sure how anyone would react, I just hoped they listened to me and let me be the only one to bear this burden.