Just waiting for the right moment

I had no idea how Dad was goign to take this.  He was so traditional when it came to things like this.  EVeryone that already knew told me I was just being crazy.  He was my dad, he would understand, they said.  I was not entirely sure.  I already told Mum.  I thought it would be easier for me to tell them separately.  I hunted my dad down while he was finishing up his paper filing.  "Dad... why do you always bring work home?" I afsked, a smile on my lips.  That way he knew I was just giving him a hard time.

I looked up at my teenaged son, sending a smile his way.  "I do'nt have it every night," I pointed out.  I noticed that Parker seemed slightly distracted.  "I'm guessing that my work isn't the topic on your mind.  What's going on, Parker?" I noticed that he definitely got even more distracted and nervous looking.  "You know you can talk to me about anything, son."  I made my way closer to him so I could be of comfort if needed.

I smiled at him and ran my hand through my hair.  "Dad, you may want to sit down," I said nervously.  I had no idea how he was going to take this.  I told Declan I would let him know how this went today.  He was helping me so much ith coming out to my family.  He was being such a great friend.

I thought that Parker was being a little dramatic, but there was no need.  I had a feeling I knew what this was about Parker thought I did not notice things... but I was not stupid.  I sat down and looked at my son.  "Can you tell me what's on your mind, kiddo?" I asked, patting the seat next to me.

I sat down next to dad.  I was really antsy.  I looked at Dad and saw that there was just concern and love in his eyes.  It calmed me down greatly.  I smiled and let out a breath I did not realize I was holding.  How was I going to flat out tell him I was gay?  "Well... I'm different than anyone else, Dad," I started out.  I figured that I would ease him into the news.

I smiled at him.  I was not really expecting him to just spill what was on his mind.  "That's good, though," I said.  "Being different isn't a bad thing, Parker."  I thought that I had always instilled in my son that being different was perfectly okay.  I guess no matterhow much a parent tired to get their children to be comfortable in their own skin, but they would always be insecure in some manner of speaking.

I sighed.  I knew Dad would be supportive and try to make me feel fine about everything.  I was just nervous.  I ran a hand through my hair.  "Dad, I'm gay," I said quickly.  I had no idea how he would react to this news.  Mum had been accepting of me, but dad was a little more old fashioned than nearly anyone I knew.

That was not exactly what I had expected to hear Parker say to me.  I leaned back in my chair slightly.  "Okay," I said, knowing that this was extremely difficult for Parker to admit.  I always had an inkling about his sexuality.  "Are you telling everyone?  Just family...?" I inquired, wanting to get the facts so I did not tell anyone that Parker would nto want to know.

Dad was being really cool about this -- surprisingly.  I expected him to freak out.  "Oh... well, I'm in the process of telling everyone.  At the moment, only you, Mum, Pops, and Nan know.  I was really scared of telling you..." I admitted.  I had no idea why I had felt that way... he was being really nice about all of this.

I smiled at my son.  "If you need help telling anyone else, I'm here for you," I told him.  I was proud that he was becoming his own person no matter what anyone else would think of him.

I grinned at him.  "Thanks, Dad... but I think this is something I need to do on my own," I said.  Dad was always there for me.  I had no idea why I was scared to tell him.

"And I don't ever want you to feel afraid to tell me anything," I assured Parker.  I could not believe that he was scared of talking to me about this.  I was his dad... I was always there for him.

I felt a little ashamed at feeling that way.  I could not hep but chuckle at myself a little bit.  "I know.  I have no clue what I was thinking," I said.  I had to be insane to worry so much about all of this.  I stood up and we hugged.  My dad was just so great.  I could not help but hug him and be relieved that he took this so well.

"If you want me to be there when you tell anyone else, I've got your back, kiddo," I said to him with a smile, though I had a feeling this was something he wanted to -- needed to do on his own.

I smiled and shook my head.  "No... this is something I'll need to do on my own... though, do you mind if we have a get together with the cousins?" I asked.  "I think I'd like to get them all together and tell them at once."  I really hoped that Dad would understand.