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Misused, Mistakes -- Spring 1977

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Post  Ember Potter Black on Wed Jan 28, 2015 5:32 am

I really hated how everything seemed to spiral out of control for me.  I could not believe that everything with the dance had gone the way that it had.  We were at least able to speak to each other -- and that was me and James.  I could not believe that he ruined everything with Sirius as my date.  It was whatever.  I guess I figured out where Sirius really stood with everything, too.  I sighed, meandering across the grounds.  I did not want to deal with the guys up in the common room.  I saw another lone silhouette by the lake and rolled my eyes.  That was where I wanted to go clear my head... why did there have to be someone else there?  I walked up and saw that it was Regulus.  Great.  A Black.  I looked over at him and saw that there was an odd expression on his face.  "Hey... you okay?" I asked tentatively.  I was unsure if he would want to even talk.  It was not like we were best mates or antyhing, but we have had some conversations thanks to Tobi.
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Post  Regulus Black on Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:34 am

I had been lost in my own thoughts, glad that I was doing something that would make my parents proud, but at what cost?  Of course I loved being wanted and spoken highly of.  It was a lot different than being here at Hogwarts where everyone hated you.  I was not used to it.  I was nothing like Sirius and people enjoyed pointing that out.  I admired my brother, I really did.  I always had.  But he never looked at me twice anymore.  The Dark Lord, though, did.  He was always so proud of me and thought I had potential.  Besides, my parents and entire family wanted this for me.  How could I say no?  I was just wondering if it was truly the right choice when I was interrupted.  I turned to see Ember Potter.

I smiled slightly at her.  "Everything is fine," I said to her.  We had a bit of a rapport with each other being friends with Tobi and with me having helped her in a few tight spots, proving that I was not always a heartless Slytherin.  Not that anyone ever gave me credit for it.  "You don't look like it, though," I added.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Mon Feb 09, 2015 2:47 pm

I laughed, almost nervously, and shook my head.  I had to push my hair behind my ears when it fell into my face, though I wondered if I should have kept it there to hide my face.  "I'm not," I said to him honestly, not sure why I felt comfortable enough to spill my heart out to him - which was what would end up happening I thought if I was not careful.  "It's just... everything.  And I'm so tired of being up in the common room.  I have to act like everything is alright; like nothing happened.  "I just wish that Sirius had never asked me to that stupid dance... then I could have had a good time with my mates and with any guy who wanted to dance with me.  If there were even any out there..." I trailed off, shaking my head again.  Sometimes I thought that no one ever saw me except as James's little sister who was off limits to everyone at the school.
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Post  Regulus Black on Wed May 06, 2015 5:28 am

I had a feeling that the dance had something to do with it.  I sighed and nodded at her.  "If it's any consolation, you looked great," I said to her, knowing that it helped for a girl to know that she looked nice when they put in that much efort.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Sun May 10, 2015 4:05 am

I was slightly startled by his revelation into a blush.  "Oh, thanks," I said to him, smiling.  "I honestly didn't think anyone really noticed... It was just one of those nights, you know?" I sighed and looked at him.  "You seem to be having more issues than stupid school drama though... everything ok?"
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Post  Regulus Black on Wed Jun 10, 2015 9:37 am

My eyes flicked across her face, reading her expression carefully.  There were no ulterior motives.  She was genuinely concerned.  I sighed and shook my head, taking my eyes off of her big brown eyes.  "I'm fine," I said to her, knowing that was my automatic response.  I would much rather keep things on her. 

"And if you need to talk, I'm an ear that won't judge," I assured her, feeling like she needed to vent some more or something.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:23 am

I chuckled slightly and shoved my hands deeper into my pockets.  "It's really just... I'm tired of living up to expectations people have of me," I admitted quietly.
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Post  Regulus Black on Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:18 am

"You mean being James' little sister and having to keep your nose clena because you brother doesn't?  You're tired of being the one who is pushed to the side because your big brother is so much more... noticed and charismatic?  Hating having to live up to having to be perfect? ...to have the proper ideals?  ...to make up for something that you should never have to make up for?" I suggested.  My voice grew more and more bitter with each suggested; they were slowly being about her to being about me.  And that was where my bitterness came in.

I shoulld never have had to make up for Sirius; he was alright, really.  My parents just loathed him because he was different.  And Merlin forbid if I even tried to be kind to my brother, to admit to him that I actually thougth he had a bit of truth in what he said.  Any time I tried to talk to him privately, Mother would be involved somehow.  I just hoped that Sirius would one day find out that I really do look up to him...

I realized I was lost in my own thoughts and I brought my gaze over to Ember rather than across the lake.  She was watching me as I spoke and as I thought.  I could nto tell what was in her eyes as she looked at me, but I felt exposed.  I was not sure if I liked it... but at the same time, I was glad someone could see through me.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Wed Aug 05, 2015 12:35 am

I let Regulus rant and just watched him as he did so.  I could see the pain and anger cross over his face and it settled in his eyes.  I could tell that there was more to this story than anyone knew.  I gave him a bit of a smile when he realized he was in his own head.  

"Yeah, something like that," I said to him.  "Though... except for the last part."  I bit my lip and pushed hair behind my ear.  "Reg... what's going on?"
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Post  Regulus Black on Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:56 pm

I glanced over at Ember and shrugged.  "Nothing... things are just... spiraling since Sirius ran away," I admitted, not looking at her.  Ember was the last person who needed to hear anything; she was with some of the most known do-gooders ever.  And then we were the Blacks.  I was expected to have those ideals.  I could never speak to her about what was happening with me -- not the whole truth.  I could never speak the whole truth to anybody.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:27 am

I put a hand on his arm, much like what I would do when I comforted James or one of the guys.  "I'm sorry to hear that," I said to him sincerely.  "Is there anything I could do to help?"
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Post  Regulus Black on Thu Feb 04, 2016 11:43 am

I looked at Ember and shook my head.  "No one can help me," I said to her quietly.  There was no one that was going to be able to dothat.  I sighed.  "I know that you mean well, so thanks."  I did not want to be completely rude.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:49 pm

I refused to believe that.  "Regulus, I think you're wrong on that," I said to him stubbornly.  "You just need to find someone you can trust to help you in the way that you need."  I tried to smile reassuringly at him.  I was not goign to let him have whatever was on his mind eat away at him.
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Post  Regulus Black on Mon Mar 07, 2016 2:46 pm

I sighed, unsure of what i could say to get her to leave me alone.  But did I really want to be alone?  It was nice to have someone that did not view me as much of anything other than a crappy Slytherin.  "I can't trust anyone with this," I said to her easily enough.
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Post  Ember Potter Black on Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:26 pm

I bit my lip, not wanting to pressure him, but he was so brooding that I knew he needed to let it out.  It seemed as though it was eating away at him.  "Regulus, you never know who you can trust unless you go out on a limb every now and then."
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