CEMETARY -- Right now I wish you where here

I started laughing. "I know, I'm sorry... but nothing added up!" I explained, still smiling. "I'd much rather take a crazy woman talkign to herself over an affair any day," I added, teasing her. I knew this probably meant a lot to her, to be here with her brother and parents and friend. I hadn't lost anyone I was close to. And even if I was at odds with Elena a lot of the time, I don't know what I'd do without my sister. I would probably be here at her grave a lot, too. "Does this help, though? Talking to them? I mean... what about Harry? He doesn't exactly like me that much. He tolerates me... but does he realize that you're his aunt?"

I sighed.  "This does help more than you may realize it would," I answered him.  "And I'm not sure what Harry knows.  I've tried to reach him... but I'm guessing Dumbledore kept me from him.  Dumbledore didn't want him around the magical realm with everything that had happened... but I don't know if it's Dumbledore or the fact that Harry is pissed off at me that's keeping me from reaching him now" I said.  "I would love to take Harry away from the Dursley's.  He deserves to be happy," I told my son.  "I think it would even help your father... to see Lily and James in him."

That last part stung a little bit. I would think it would help dad to see his own son. "Mum... do you think it helps that I have been talking to him?" I asked, hearing my voice break a little bit. "I mean... for both of you. Does it help to know that I do believe in him now? I know I didn't... but... will any of it make a difference?" I felt my eyes filling up. I was afraid I may have lost my father with everything that i pulled. Maybe that was why Mum thought he needed ot see Harry. See someone who might really love him from the start.

I pulled my son into my arms.  "Honey... I'm sorry.  I didn't mean that you weren't helping," Iexplained.  "I just think that seeing someone who is a part of James and Lily might help your father with losing them.  Of course it means the world to us that you believe your father!  That has made a world of difference for all of us," I told him, squeezing him hard.  I kissed Dean's cheek.  "Honey, your father and I have loved you even when you were so adamant that your father was a crazy lunatic who killed my brother and sister.  Our love for you will never change.  But it is a lot easier to know you're on our side," I said, pulling away to look at him.  It was my turn to wipe the tears from his eyes.  "Now... enough of all this.  There is nothing either one of us should be worrying this much about," I said.  "You get the worrying from me and I get it from my mother," I added with a smile.

I smiled at her. "I'm sorry... I just... I don't know," I said, shrugging. "I just wish that I would've believed in my own blood rather than listen to everyone else. Do you think Dad will forgive me for that?" I only questioned because if I were in his shoes I wasn't sure if I could forgive that easily.

I rubbed Dean's shoulder.  "There's no forgiving you, Dean," I said, "because your father was never angry with you in the first place.  But if that's the way you need to hear it, then yes... you're father probably already has forgiven you the minute you put one foot into Azkaban to see him on your own."  I stood up and helped Dean up.  "I think it's time we let these guys rest," I said with a smile.  "And instead of sneaking in the shadows, how about you walk your mother home?" I suggested.  I wondered if he would even want to be seen in public with me.

I linked my arm with my mum's. "It would be my honor to walk with you," I said. I was jesting at the fact I said ti so formally, but I really would love to walk with her. On the way back home, I had asked Mum to tell me more stories of all of them. It was amazing what I had missed before... if I hadn't been so stubborn and had actually lsitened... maybe I would've forgiven and believed my father long ago.