I'm on the ledge while you're so Goddamn polite and composed -- Winter 2020

I finally realized where I had smelled that perfume I smelled when Rory and I had our moment a handful of weeks ago.  I could not believe that it was her.  We were mates -- even best mates.  Real mates, not just like me and Viola.  And she completely betrayed me?!  I wrapped myself in my cloak and went outside to try to clear my head with the crisp wind and the bit of sleet that was coming down in a light hazy mist.  It pelted my face, but only lightly.  My hair was tucked beneath a cap neatly and a scarf was around my neck to help protect my face as well.  Even though I was freezing and things were not the best conditions outside, I still looked cute.

It was slippery on the ground as I trudged through the bit of snow that was on the ground to the owlery.  At least there I would be able to protect myself from the wind.  It would smell up there as it always does, but it was better than being outside completely.  And maybe I would be able to scream in hopes that the wind would carry it away.  I folded my arms as I walked, trying to keep myself warm - though my lycanthropy helped keep me warm where I did not feel the chill the way normal humans could, but this was just as cold as any other day at Hogwarts in the winter... if not worse.

Anyways, I was tiring of seeing Rory and Marie around Hogwarts.  We were all so polite to each other... but on the inside, my anger and betrayal raged like a fire.  And they stayed together -- even after Rory admitted how strongly he felt about me and we kissed... like, a real kiss.  Not just snogging at a party for the bloody hell of it.  But a kiss that showed that we were - not to sound unlike myself - meant for each other.  

I made it to the owlery and nearly ran into Marie.  My eyes narrowed at the little traitor - that was what she was to me now - and shoved past her without saying a word.  WE were not around anyone, so I did not even have to pretend to be nice to her.  And that was when I heard her speak.  The wind carried her words - which told me that when I decided to scream, I could - and I turned towards her.  "You think you have the right to talk to me?" I spat at her, loud enough that my words would make it to her.  I enjoyed seeing that her lips were a little blue.  Who was so important that she needed to face the bitter chill that made most everyone hunker down in the common rooms or Great Hall to send an owl?

I sighed, rubbing my hands up and down my arms.  "Mina, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," I said to her.  I never wanted to hurt her.  i wanted to tell her myself -- that was why Rory and I dating had been a secret in the first place.  But she figured it out... and it was because of my perfume apparently.  That was what she said when she slapped me in the face the one day.

I merely stared at Marie.  I was crushed that my best mate betrayed me and that the one guy that I thought I would always have decided to up and leave me.  No, we were not ever technically together... but it was Rory.  He was the most loyal Slytherin ever.  I knew that he cared for me even before he admitted it.  And now he was lying to her!  Or he had lied to me.  Either way, he was a lying bastard and I would never deal with him again.

"Sorry?  That's all you've got to say for yourself?" I shouted at her, the entire volume being diminished so it lost it's impact.  "You betrayed me!  that takes a lot more than a bloody apology to fix!"

I sighed and looked away from Mina.  I had to compose myself before being able to look at her in the eye.  "Mina, I didn't betray you.  I'm sorry if you never listened to me and it was basically a one sided friendship because I could never talk to you like a real mate.  I always had feelings for Rory.  I just decided to act on mine.  I can't help it if you missed your opportunity," I explained loudly so she could hear me over the wind.  

"Yeah, Rory told you he had feelings for you... but guess what?  He fancies me, too.  I can't help it if that seems like such a foreign concept that someone could like somebody like me over somebody like you.  But at least I'm not a heartless bitch."  I had not meant for the last part to come out, but it just sort of slipped out of my mouth.  It was sort of the truth, though.

I took a step back as if Marie had slapped me.  She had never talked ot me like this before... I had thought she was a real mate... but obviously she did not feel the same way.  Which just angered me more than anything else.  "I am not competely heartless, Marie.  I befriened you after all... but apparently that means absolutely nothing to you," I snapped at her.  "I thought you were different than everyone else who is either too intimidated by me or just wanted to use me for different means."

I was not sure what to say to Mina.  I never realized that Mina felt that way about our friendship.  I just was not going to stop feeling what I was towards Rory because of the things that she was saying to me about how close we supposedly were.  "Mina, if you ever felt that we were that close, you never showed it to me," I said to her, shaking my head.  "You always pushed me to the side during nearly everything!"

"Oh, so this is just to get back at me for being a conceited mate?  Well, good for you!" I shouted at her, shaking my head.  "You know, most people would just communicate that issue, but not Marie.  Perhaps you deserved to be in Slytherin after all!"

I glared at her.  "I stuck with you through a lot of crap, Mina," I pointed out to her angrily.  "I've defended you with a lot of people who only see you as a Greyback.  So don't act like I haven't been a loyal mate.  I can't help it if I actually acted on my feelings and you did not.  That's really not my problem."  Mina was infuriating me about the whole thing.  I rubbed my hands on my arms because I was starting to freeze.

I narrowed my eyes at Marie.  "Then quit acting like you care about my feelings now," I spat at her.  "You and Rory both keep trying to talk to me and explain yourselves... there's really nothing you can do to fix what you broke now."