So many things I shouldn't have missed -- November 1999

This was it:  I was finally going to see my son again after all these years.  He reached out to me and set a date to meet.  Would he hate me?  Did he realize how hard I have been trying to find him?  I just had no idea where to look.  As explained by my father, he at least had proof of who I was and the heritage that he had.  I was so nervous.  I had no idea what to expect.  It was a dank place that he chose to meet at.  I had a feeling it was to make sure no attention was brought to him.

It was still chilly in the little pub and I wrapped my jacket closer around me.  It was clear it was a place wizards went to, though, because magic was all around me:  cloaks, books, owls, you name it.  I just waited, unsure of what was going to happen.

I had spoken to Juniper about this before setting the meeting to see my mum - my biological mum.  I had no idea what to expect.  It was mental to think that I was related to Slughorn... but I knew it to be true with the way my own dad had given me the inormation that I just recently found again.

I could see a woman with dark hair and light skin sitting at a table looking nervous when I looked through the window of the pub.  That had to be her.  I realized I was very guarded.  I walked inside and went over to the stranger who seemed familiar nonetheless.  "Mia?  Mia Slughorn?" I asked her, not entirely sure if it was her.  But from the pictures that Slughorn showed me, it was her.

I looked over and smiled at him.  There was my son, all grown up.  He almost looked frightened of me, though.  Tears came to my eyes and I fought them back.  "Yes, I'm her," I said to him.  "Lincoln?  Is that really you?" I could hear caution in my own voice.  How long have I been searching for him?

I was extremely guarded.  I mean, I knew she was my biological mother, but I had no idea if I would ever consider her my mum.  Chloe had that title and that was a very high bar to meet.  "Yeah, I'm Lincoln," I said to her, sitting down.  "Lincoln matthews... you knnew my dad, Riley..."  I really had no idea how to even begin any of this.

I smiled at him and sat down when he did.  "Of course I knew Riley," I said to him.  I adjusted my seat and just stared at him.  "I never thought I'd find you again... or rather, that you'd find me."

I swallowed, not entirely sure what was going to happen with this.  I was extremely nervous.  "I never gave you a thought, honestly, because my dad never told me Genevieve was not my real mother... not until he was murdered.  Then I pushed all of that out of my mind," I explained to her honestly.

Even though it hurt to hear him say that, I could not blame Riley.  He thought they had killed me.  The look of sorrow on his face... I was just glad that he saved our son.  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "I cannot blame you for doing that," I said to him gently.  "I have sort of been filled in by Dad about what had happened to you... I wish I could have saved you from all of that."

I just stared at her.  "Didn't you have a thought that my dad would be the one who had me?  Why not come forward?" I asked.  I wanted to hear it from her rather than what Slughorn thought was the case.

I thought Dad had said he told Lincoln all of this.  Perhaps this was just his way to make sure we were speaking the truth.  I could see the distrust in his eyes even though he appeared to be trying not ot let it show.  "It took a long time for me to recover from the injuries I sustained during the torture," I said to him slowly.  I still had nightmares about that night.  The fear of what would come of myson still haunted me.  "Fear kept me hidden for so long, though I did try to figure out what happened... by that time, however, Riley was dead.  There was no record that I could find to show where you went or what really all happened."  That was the truth.

I wanted to be open minded; I wanted to have my real mum.  She had to know, though, the truth of what happened to me.  I was sure that Professor Slughorn told her what I had said and what happened to me; it would just be better if she heard it from me.  "I understand injuries from torture -- I basically went through torture the entire time that I lived with Dad and Mother," I said to her darkly.  "I had guilt and fear and pain -- every bloody day... I had always hoped that it would not last.  I owe everything to Chloe and Remus for taking me in."

Lincoln's words were like daggers in my heart and I felt so bad for my son.  I felt tears come to my eyes.  "Lincoln, I am so sorry," I said to him sincerely.  "I know I can never reverse what happened to you... but you came to find your family and I'm it.  I can't even begin to make it up to you or anything like that."

I leaned back in the chair a bit.  "I don't know what I was hoping to find when I went searching for answers as to who you really were," I said honestly.  "The Lupins are my family now.  I just... I guessed I hoped that there would be some better reason than fear that would keep my biological family from finding me."

I could not believe what I was hearing. He was right, though. it was fear that kept me away from my own child. I broke eye contact and wiped away a tear. "Lincoln... you're right. I was scared. I have no idea how you made it through everything -- but I am so proud of the man you have become. I am so thankful for the Lupins who adopted you and got you away from that situation." There was just nothing I could say to change anything that my son was feeling or thinking about me or my father.