I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

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I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Addison Logan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:26 am

I had stayed with Dean for the last two days.  He was getting worse and worse.  he had been unconscious... we barely got there in time to save him and the Healers were not sure if they would be able to pull him through.  Dona, Stan, and Ryan all wanted to be here with me today.  Stan had needed to be seen today by Healers anyways.  We were all sure his eyes would never completely heal.  My little boy was blind now.  I smiled as I heard Sedona helping Stan with tying his shoes while Ryan was quiet, coloring in the corner.  I had no idea if they kenw how bad any of this was.  THeir daddy could leave us forever.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Sedona Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:28 am

I rolled my eyes at my brother, wishing he could see me.  "Stan.  You don't need to see to be able to tie shoes.  Try again," I demanded.  I was only trying to help him.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Addison Logan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:28 am

"Sedona, be nice," I scolded lightly.  I knew she was trying to help, but she did not need to be so mean about it.  The monitors changed the beeps a litlte bit, making me look up at Dean.  He remained the same.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Constantine Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:30 am

"Mum... I want Dona to be tough.  I used to know how to do the bunny ears like Dad taught us," I said, doing as my older sister said.  It made me mad that I could not really do it without sight.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Sedona Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:31 am

I grinned.  "See mum?  Stan likes it," I repeated.  I continued to help my brother.  I showed him -- well, I guided his hands on how to make the bunny ears.  When Stan got it on his own, I clapped and made a lot of noise for him.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Ryan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:33 am

I looked up from my coloring book when I hear Sedona start clapping.  I grinned seeing that Stan was able to do the bunny ears.  "Way to go!" I said happily.  I felt really bad for my big brother.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Constantine Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:34 am

I hugged Dona.  I was grateful for her help.  "Mum!  I did it, look!" I said lloudly, wishing I could see Mum's face.  I was so excited that I had actually did it!
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Addison Logan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:36 am

I clapped my hands for my son.  "I'm so proud of you, Stan!" I said, really happy my kids were helping each other out with everything.  I thought they were being a little loud, but it was just us in the room right now.  I was not sure if anyone else was at this wing of hte hospital... it seemed abnormally quiet.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Dean Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:40 am

There had been only darkness for the longest time... until I heard clapping.  Apparently I had been not feeling any pain until now.  I felt like I could barely breathe.  I could not move... but I could hear my family.  I needed to know Stan was okay.  I wanted to shout... to get them to hear me.  I wanted to see them.  I wanted this pain to end.  I finally opened my eyes; the lights bothered me greatly.  "Addie," I managed to say, trying to reach out to her but unable to move my arm.  I was so eak and scared.  I knew there was something extremely wrong with me.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Addison Logan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:42 am

I quieted the kids when I heard my name.  I looked over and saw that my husband was awake.  I felt ters come to my eyes and I hold of his hand.  I kissed it and smiled at him. "I'm here," I said softly.  I saw teh look in his eyes and anted to ignore it, but we could not.  He was hurting; he looked scared; he looked as if he kenw something I did not.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Sedona Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:43 am

I heard Mum talk and looked over to see Daddy having his eyes open!  I grabbed Stan's hand and motioned for Ryan to follow us and we walked to the other side of the bed.  "Daddy!  They said you would sleep a long time!  Stan can't see anything anymore," I started, wanting to catch Daddy up on everything he has missed.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Addison Logan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:45 am

I made my daughter quiet down.  I did not need Sedona to overwhelm Dean.  I was extremely worried about my husband.  He was so pale and I knew what the Healers were telling me.  It was extremely difficult for me to want to tell him everything going on, but I could not with the kids listening like thsi.  I did not want to worry them.  And I also knew if we talked about the prognosis I would end up bawling my eyes out.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Constantine Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:48 am

I found Dad's hand and squeezed it.  "I just wanted to thank you, Dad.  And don't feel bad I cant' see.  you saved me.  You're my hero," I told him quietly.  I wanted to be able to tell him that.  I saw things... I saw that Dad was going to die... at least that was what I thought I saw.  I just had not told anyone because I was afraid of what I had seen.  I hoped that it was just a bad dream.  I was blind, I should nto see anything... but I saw that.  I felt myself start crying.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Ryan Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:52 am

I stood there with Dona and Stan, looking at dAd and then Mum.  Something was not right.  I could tell that much.  I stayed quiet and put a hand on my brother's shoulder since he started to cry.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

Post  Dean Black on Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:55 am

I saw them holding my hands, but I could nto feel it.  I did not know if it was due to my horrible pain in my chest outweighing any other feeling or possibly pain meds in effect.  I just hoped it was not due to lack of being able to use them.  My son calling me his hero brought tears to my eyes along with my inabiliity to wipe his away.  I looked at Addison.  "Can anyone... watch them?" I asked, y words being interrupted by sharp stabs of pain.  I needed to know what was going on.  I tried to smile at hte kids to reassure them.  "I love you kids so much," I made myself say.  It was not that I did not love them, but with my pain... it was so difficiult to speak or move.  I had a feeling I knew what was going on with me.  I was so worried about what was going to happen.
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Re: I'm slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread -- Early Fall 2008

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